How to Stop 'Should-ing' on Yourself

How to Stop 'Should-ing' on Yourself

The vision I used to have in my mind of where I thought I was supposed to be used to drive me insane.

I used to think, "I should be there already."

I did it when I was in my mid-twenties when I thought, "I need to be dating someone seriously by now and thinking about getting married. I should be there already."

I did it after five years after being divorced when I thought, "I need to be over grieving the loss of the life I thought I was going to have. I should be on the other side of this already."

And up until recently, I did it when I thought, "I should be in a long-term committed relationship and starting my life over with someone else. I should be there already."

But what I have realized is that everything that happened to me (and what hasn't happened), has unfolded exactly the way it was supposed to, in the exact timeline it was meant to.

I shouldn't be there already. There is no 'there.' I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And so are you.​

I love this quote: "I'm not lost. I'm on my way."

I have eased up on myself quite a bit. Through the process of surrender and energy healing practices, I have faith in the fact that everything is unfolding in the way it is supposed to.

"Whatever is meant for me won't miss me."

"Whenever a door closes, a window opens."

"This too, shall pass."

These words, among countless other affirmations, have helped me let go of the idea I have in my head and the arbitrary timeline I have created. They seem so cliche, just words. But, through energy healing, I was able to really live them as my truth.

And through this work, I realized that the chronic pain in my neck and shoulders were related to the 'shoulds' that I was always placing upon myself.

Energetically, the shoulders represent our ability to carry out experiences in life joyously. We make life a burden by our attitude.

Once I surrendered and energetically released the 'shoulds,' my 'should'er and neck pain dissipated. I released the idea that my romantic life (and its timeline) is a burden and embraced that all is happening in divine timing.

So now, with this knowledge, I realize that I am not lost, but on my way... and so are you. We are all on our way - in the perfect, divine timing of our lives.

In this week's Energy Healing Toolkit, I offer you an energy healing exercise to release the 'shoulds'.

In private sessions, we delve deeper into your energy, goals and needs. We can work together in person or over Zoom. The result is the same!

In-person healing sessions are offered in Woodbury, Long Island.

Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Namaste- Marci

Energy Healing Toolkit

Drop the Shoulds

  1. Pick an area of your life where you are 'should-ing' on yourself. In the above example, I used romantic love. However, it can be about anything such as career, health, relationships, finances, living situation, etc.
  2. Visualize the burden of carrying the weight of this situation on your shoulders. Visualize it wrapped up in any 'package' that you see in your imagination. It could be in big baskets, boxes or perhaps it is the person, place or thing that is weighing you down. See it very clearly in your imagination weighing down on your shoulders.
  3. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. On the exhale, take your hands and pull off the imaginary weight off of your shoulders and 'dump' the energy of the situation into the ground.
  4. Keep pulling out the energy on your shoulders and behind your neck while taking deep breaths and saying aloud, "I easily and effortlessly release the heavy energy of this situation. I no longer 'should' on myself and let the Earth transmute the heaviness into light."
  5. Do this five times (or more).
  6. Close your eyes. Place your hands on opposite shoulders and say aloud, "I choose to allow all my experiences to be joyous and loving. And so it is."

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